By Tanja Barth on Thrive Global
When were you first told you should be ashamed of something you were being or doing? For me, it was when, as a small child, I had a knack for saying out loud what all the adults in the room were thinking, but no one was willing to say. Oops! I would end up getting chastised simply for being as acute and aware as I naturally was. I was not supposed to know what was happening, let alone speak it out loud.
There is a saying: “Only children and drunks tell the truth.” This is because they both have less filters, barriers or control mechanisms. As sober, serious adults, we are trained to judge, compare and figure out what about us is undesirable and what parts we must suppress, avoid or hide from the world, so that we can best fit the mold of what other people deem appropriate. We pile up the filters, barriers and controls we have been taught to take on, then we try to be ourselves out in the world – and wonder why our lives don’t work!
How much energy are we actually using to suppress what we truly are? And what would it create if we started being unashamedly us?
Years ago, when I was working as a manager responsible for international corporate deals, I learned how to manipulate and dominate people. Very often I was referred to as a Dominatrix in Business or the Business-Bitch — both are things I spent a lot of time and energy trying to avoid being.
What if, all the things we try to avoid so intensely are actually not a wrongness, but rather a strongness?
What if, all these roles and identities do not determine who or what we truly are?
What if, there is a greater sense of being all you are, that lies beyond all these roles and identities?
And how can you use all that you are to your advantage, rather than spending so much time and energy trying to avoid what you truly are?
Become aware of who or what you are being in every moment
Something Dominatrices and Bitches have in common is this: they get what they want and get things done—a vital aspect of being successful in business! Unfortunately, most Business Bitches and Dominatrices play that role from a place of reaction, and not from conscious choice, since they think that this is all that they are and can be in those situations. How much more freedom could you have if you were aware of who or what you are being in every moment and be these things by choice from an active state, rather than a reactive state?
In order to become more aware of who and what you are truly being in certain situations, start asking questions like:
Who or what am I being here?
What role am I playing here?
What identity am I trying to uphold here?
Will this create the greatest result or future if I continue to be it?
And, if I were truly being me in this situation who would I be and what would I choose?
Be all that you are without fear or favor
If you start looking at the roles you play unconsciously and question whether playing these roles by choice creates the greatest result or future, you can begin using them to your advantage, instead of trying to avoid them. How much more freedom and choice would you have, if you truly were non-judgmental of all that you are and used these roles and identities to create even greater in life?
Once you are in allowance of all that you are, you will stop separating parts and pieces of yourself, which ultimately empowers you to have total choice of what you can be and do in every moment. You don’t need permission from anyone else to end self-judgment and allow all that you are to come out to play – you can choose it right now.
Allowing you to be unashamedly You, from a place of self-awareness and conscious choice, empowers you to have more freedom and possibilities in every situation. What are you avoiding, that if you actually would be it, would give you total choice and total freedom?
See the article on ThriveGlobal here: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/being-unashamedly-you-a-major-key-to-self-empowerment/
Tanja Barth is a personal wealth and well-being coach, mentor and writer. She has spent more than two decades in a highly-successful financial career including roles as an auditor, transaction service manager, private equity & management consultant, wealth manager, and CFO. Now, in addition to her business activities, she incorporates her vast financial and management experience into her role as a Being You Certified Facilitator, and the facilitation of several other Access Consciousness® specialty programs.